About

Thrive, Socialize, & Unite the Tribe

Welcome to my blog, where I explore anything that can help gay men of all ages (especially Daddies* like me) socialize, connect, and thrive. I know this will help unite and empower our tribe. Topics will include the local San Francisco Bay Area social scene, events, community, self-development opportunities, insights, skillshares, resources, entertainment, destinations, travel, art, and more. I want to share my truth: that Daddyhood (so far) is pretty rad.

About Me

I’m Digger, a mid-age gay dude (aka ‘Daddy’) in San Francisco, California. I grew up in the midwest and I’ve lived abroad and traveled a lot. I’m a curious, down-to-Earth thinker with a goofy sense of humor. I am passionate about life, nature, music, health, and traveling. I also love learning, celebrating, and connecting with people. I am eager to try (nearly) EVERYTHING in life.

Why Did I Start This Blog?

I started this blog primarily to help gay dudes like myself THRIVE. Meaning: socialize, grow, and find happiness. It will also help younger gay dudes, maybe combat some ageism, unite homos across the generations, bring about world peace, the usual ;-).

We live in an ageist and individualistic culture where aging people can feel isolated, out of place, and lonely. Especially in a gay male culture that is youth and beauty obsessed. This ageism harms the youth too. Young straight men can easily find many role models and mentors. But who do young gay men look to?

Most of us come out of the closet personally knowing few (if any) older gay men to learn from. Ironically many younger gay dudes stereotype their gay elders as predators, just like homophobic people stereotype all of us. This prejudice keeps us divided and sad about aging.

RESIST This Culture of Fear

Let’s be real: I’ve seen predatory behavior at EVERY age. There is a sad percentage of men (gay, straight, young, and old) who act like predators. Yes we should protect ourselves and others from this behavior, but let’s be prepared, not paranoid.

We live in a culture of fear. Mainstream news networks peddle fear 24 hours. Why? Because fear hooks us and sells. What are popular politicians extolling? FEAR. Fear of the ‘deep state’, immigrants, terrorists, homos, boogeymen. Why? Because fear motivates. Fear divides.

Divide and conquer is an age-old, but effective population control tactic. It kept a small minority of whites in power in apartheid South Africa for decades. Keep people afraid of each other and they won’t unite and rise up and change things. Keep the young gays afraid of the older gays to divide and reduce their collective power.

WE CAN Make It Better

We could have generations supporting each other in a good way.  The youth bring energy, beginner’s-mind, and optimism, while the aged offer wisdom and experience. But instead of mentorship we have LGBT youth overmedicating themselves. We have elders (many who fought for our rights) now feeling slighted and left out.  This sucks. And it could be much better.

Imagine a world where young gay men aren’t afraid of older gay men. Instead  they approach them as friends and mentors. Where older gay men can be friendly without fear, sharing their experiences to help others be prepared, not paranoid. Where we all have the social skills and confidence to flirt respectfully and yet also respect a polite “no, thanks, friend.” Where we can forge friendly and supportive relationships regardless of generation and attraction.

United We (Should) Stand

When we unite our tribe across generations undivided is when we will have truly awesome power in society and in our own lives.

A big part of Digger Gets Around is an ongoing conversation with aging gay men like me on issues that matter to us and cultivating skills we can model to help us unite our tribe across generations. Younger visitors can learn from our experiences and see that Daddyhood can be great. And, of course, we’ll have a blast along the way.

*FUN FACT: The younger gays call us older gays “Daddy,” (regardless of our parenthood). Yeah, it sounds weird at first, but then you get used to it. It’s a subculture thing. Somehow ‘Daddy’ becomes acceptable but ‘Dad’ or ‘Pops’ is creepy. Go figure.